Hiiieeeee! Fluffy’s here and back again!

Wait … where was I?

Oh, yeah!

Here I am!

Anyways, last weekend was Halloween weekend. The time when all spooks come out and people have sex in the open streets and alleyways. Oh, hang on! That’s Mardi Gras! Never mind, same difference…

Anyways, for Halloween, my friends and I were, like, we gotta go to this costume party! A friend of ours invited us to this Halloween party, and what’s a Halloween party without costumes!

We were going to go as a group, and we wanted to match. Our costumes, you know. And then, Elvira came up with an idea. Well, Elvira isn’t exactly her real name, but she is one scary Dingbat, so we just call her whatever she wants.

Elvira is really into this occult thingies like Ouija boards, fortune telling, wearing all black even in the midday sun, and collecting ceramic cats. And she came up with this cool idea of us going as the Minionettes of Darkness! Servants of the Dark Lord!

Well, the idea was cool, but the girls were like “Minionettes?”

And Elvira was like, “Duh! Minions is so not cool! Besides, we’re girls! We’re Minionettes!”

We talked about a name change for a bit. Muffins suggested the Queens of Darkness, but our friend, Michael/Michaela, was passing by and bitch-slapped her. So, then, Suki suggested Princesses of Darkness.

Yeah! That had a ring to it!

I mean, we all agreed, Queen sounds grand, but we don’t want to get mixed up with all the other “Queens” running around that night.

We decided that everyone’s got to be a different Princess of Darkness. So, that night, we got all dressed up at my place, and went to the party.

There was Elvira, as The Princess of Eternal Darkness. Dude, you cross her, and you’ll definitely be in Eternal Darkness forever! She had a dress cut up to there, and slashed down to here. Her speciality: scratching your eyes out.

Suki went as The Princess of the Waiting Darkness because she just loves scaring the bejabbers at everyone! She crept around to everyone and whispered, “The Darkness is waiting for you! And I’m gonna GET YOU!”

For some reason, she got a lot of hotel room keys that night. Hmmm…

Muffins wanted to be The Princess of the Unending Night, but Elvira said she’d scratch her eyeballs out if she doesn’t get with the program. So, in the end, she went with The Princess of Hopeless Darkness. Every guy who came and hit on her, she just said, “Forget it. You’re out of my league. Not a chance, boyo.”

Sometimes, Muffins can be cruel…

Me, well … I’ve got a problem with the dark. So I decided to be The Princess of Semi Darkness. I’ll do evil things to you, as long as it’s not too far away from my night-light.

It was an okay party. We had fun. Muffins and Suki had a contest to see who could get the most number of hotel room keys. Muffins had an edge, but Suki got the keys to a Classic Porsche, so I think she’s the winner.

Elvira freaked out everyone by telling them their fortune and giving them screwed up accounts of how they’re going to be cursed with bad sex lives forever.

We terrorized a cow because he wouldn’t let us milk him.

We set this witch’s broom on fire because she made this remark about Suki’s breasts. Dude, of course they’re not real. It’s Halloween. And it’s called a push-up bra. But it doesn’t mean you can be rude about it.

Oh, and we gave this cheerleader a wedgie.

All in all, an okay night. And how was your Halloween?

This was quite some time ago. But this was Halloween, and I was out partying with my friends. We dressed up, of course. That's part of the Halloween fun. And we put a lot of effort into our costumes.

We got white shirts, black pants, black ties, black hats, hand cuffs, and cigars.

Yup. We went as Mafia Girls. Except that no one knew we were Mafia Girls. They were all like "KGB? CIA?"

Duh.

So, we went to this pub that was having a fancy dress competition. We even got all our moves right. And first prize went to this guy doing a Kramer impersonation from Seinfeld.

We were like, what? How could he have won? Our costumes were so much better. And, at least, we were colour-coordinated!

Praying in Prada,
Fluffy

You know, I've always heard it said that there is a difference between the way a man and a woman shops. Recently, I found out that there's a third difference - The way I shop.

I went to 2 Utama recently with Wombat. I twisted his arm and got him to go eat at Yoshinoya's with me. Afterwards, he said he wanted to F.O.S. So, I said, okay, I don't mind window-shopping there. I mean, I am a woman, right?

And it's amazing ... He goes in, he heads right for the shirt section ... picks out several in varying shades of blue (how imaginative is that?) and then goes to try them out.

So, I thought, well, since I'm here already, I'll just browse around. So I start walking around the skirts and the blouses and the pretty dresses. And ... I have to say that I was very disappointed.

All the clothes were too small for me! I had to look for extra-extra-large! I was on the verge of crying. How much weight do I have to lose to get back into shape? And that's when I noticed the sign ... It was pretty big, but it was hidden behind a cute, floral dress. It said "Kids Section".

DingBat!

Anyways, after FOS, we went to Watson's. And as we were walking back, we passed by the Renoma shoe store. I know I have no will power. I know I don't need anymore shoes. So I just gave the shoes a covetous look, grabbed Wombat's sleeve, and said, "Walk faster! Walk faster! Walk faster!"

He said what was wrong with just looking at them. So, I said, hello? I'm a woman? And every outfit needs to be justified by a special pair of shoes? Besides, the only shoes I really need to get are sport shoes. My old gym sneakers are starting to laugh (the sole is coming off of one shoe).

And he quickly tapped me on the shoulder, and said, "Well, why didn't you say? Gym shoes are important, at least! There's a sports store just beside Watson!"

So, we went into the sports store. Wombat sits down immediately, and takes a call on his cellphone. I guess he's used to shopping women's style. Me - I used the Fluffy Quick Shopping Technique.

What do you want? Gym Shoes
What kind? Cross-Trainers
Any particular brand? No
Any particular colour? No
Any particular price? Depends on two criteria:

1. Cheapest
2. Good fit

Within fifteen minutes, I had identified possible candidates, tried them on in the correct size, went for a walk, run, jump and skip in them, and pronounced them "Good Enough For Me!"

Went to the cashier, got a ten percent discount, got my shoes, and went out the door.

Did I make a detour any where else? No. But Wombat did.

Gesturing urgently while still talking on his cellphone, he goes, "MacDonald's! Upstairs!"

I swear that boy has an unhealthy obsession for MacDonald's ice-cream.

And, yes, I know the basic difference between the way a guy shops, and the way a girl shops. And now I know the third difference - the way I shop. I have to wait until a GUY tells me to do it!

Anyone want me for a girlfriend?

Out of Cash,
Fluffy

Hiiiyeeeee! Okay, first of all, obviously "Fluffy" isn't my real name. But, sometimes, my friends call me that. And, sometimes, I call me that, too!

Like, as in, "I'm not fat! I'm just Fluffy!"

Some people tell me that when they listen to me, they feel like they're going fluffy, too. But at least that's better than what Man Dude said to me the other day.

See, what happened was that I went to a shop. And I meant to go straight back to my car (I drive a Proton Waja. Nice car, but my brother says it's a Mitsubishi knock-off). But this shop with "SALE!" signs all over it just caught my eye. I went in, came out with a few shopping bags, and went straight to my Waja.

Except it wasn't my Waja. It WAS a Waja. Just not mine. I was, like, hey, I don't have a little doll whatever on my dashboard. I looked at the license plate, and it DEFINITELY wasn't my Waja! I looked up around me and realized I'd walked too far.

I got disoriented because of that shop I went into. I'm usually good with remembering things like where I put my keys and stuff like that. So, anyways, I looked around, and I saw my Waja just a car away. I doshed myself on my head and walked over. And then I went ... wait ... that doesn't look like my steering lock. It's not my Waja!

I looked around again, and it was the next car over! What are the chances of three identical Wajas parked side by side (well, almost) like that? When I reached my car, this guy who was standing in front of the shops started laughing and said, "They all look the same, don't they?"

I just laughed along, trying not to show that I'm as embarrassed as I feel, and said, "Yeah. Maybe I should put a bumper sticker on mine!"

I told Man Dude that story and he said, "Are you sure you didn't dye your hair brunette? You're really a blonde, aren't you?"

To which I say (well, not actually to him, but more like a general statement to the world kind of thing), "No, I'm NOT a blonde! I'm just a DingBat."

DingBats of the World, Unite!
Fluffy
President-Incumbent